Ardtorna

This B&B sells itself as a "5 Star Gold" establishment but has completely missed the point of what luxury and 5 star accommodation is. The essence of a 5 star facility is not the decor but rather the atmosphere, the best places to stay are welcoming and warming, they should feel like you are staying as a house guest and not a customer. At Ardtorna you are met with guest information detailing how much you will be charged for a broken glass, how much for a mark on the sheets. There is a list of possible indiscretions that leave one on edge and uncomfortable with the idea of being there at all. Everything is described as unique and special but in truth it is just a B&B. The special and different breakfast options are just the normal ones rebranded and overpriced. The crockery is the inevitable Villeroy and Boch asymmetric white china when there is a local pottery literally across the road. How much more welcoming to have an honest breakfast choice on charming local pottery, celebrating the uniqueness of the area you are visiting. Scotland is a land of outdoor activities and Ardtorna is sited well for walkers and cyclists. However, when you arrive inevitably damp you are left to feel that the outdoors is unwelcome. There is no place to store bikes (despite claiming so on the website), no drying facilities, and the underfloor heating system will prove completely inadequate. This B&B smacks of someone that has read about 5 star accommodation in magazines and newspaper supplements but never really experienced it in its true form. Having stayed in places across the globe, ranging from the best hotels in the world to warm, humble farmhouse B&Bs this place left us cold. A comfortable night's sleep is not dictated by the bed you sleep in but by the atmosphere created around you. This felt less like a relaxing holiday destination and more like a Swiss medical clinic.